Archive for July, 2006

number one hair dos


Shiseido’s No. 1 products for men has a funky web site. Products fall from the top of the page and make little tinkling noises ( I LOVE that tinkling noise, like someone tapping a ’50s coke bottle with a screwdriver tip) as they land; bubbles with men’s faces float around as links to commercial videos and there’s a manga feel to the graphics.

I think the emphasis here is on how dyeing your hair can make you look cool, no matter how much of an oaf you might be in reality. Each ad shows how a guy’s hair color can turn the geek into a hunk (well, maybe not hunk, but definitely a marginally smarter-looking person). But then after each transformation, the new yellow- orange- brown- and in rare cases black-haired ‘hunk’ does something incredibly unhunklike and quite geek-like, like dance really badly, or shadowbox.

Why is there a cow? Why is there a bubble with a guy in a sinister-looking hood? And why would anyone want to dye their hair bright yellow? Beats me.


July 31, 2006 at 5:29 pm Leave a comment

who says granny smells bad?


She does in fact smell “good!”

Shiseido’s AG+ (i.e. silver, hence the silver cans) deodorizers are endorsed by the one and only Betsy Lyons!!!

O.K. I admit I have no idea who Betsy Lyons is, but she is real and big enough to get herself interviewed on the AG+ web site at:  Whoever she is, she’s now the poster granny for AG+, and I think she rocks (as much as she sniffs).

The ad says something like “Stinky fungus,” “Silver kills the fungus,” “There will be absolutely no smell!” It actually says on the can, in English, “Silver ions destroy germs and control odors around the clock.” But I like the stinky fungus version better.

Go to the web site, see what the real Betsy Lyons looks like (kind of like a cleaning lady who sometimes wears a tiara), click around and watch some bizarre ads. She tends to sniff around what should be smelly situations and then exclaim “Good,” while sometimes waving a sign with a red circle on it (which means “good,” like a big tick next to your homework). The product itself is just deodorant powder spray in various fruity and other flavors.

July 27, 2006 at 5:22 pm 2 comments

drink up kids


They look like bottles of beer…

One on the left is actually called ‘Kids’ beer’ Neither of course have any alcohol. But the beer one does have gurana in it. So if you’re into hyper kids, I recommend it. The cider tastes nothing like cider, not even like Appletizer, just kind of sweet and fizzy. The beer tastes more or less the same (and not even like a root beer). So it’s all in the packaging I guess.

Nice way to introduce your kids to that all important Japanese toast (where everyone toasts with beer before a meal).

July 23, 2006 at 5:15 am Leave a comment

good training


A good training rain manual

Umbrellas are part of Japan’s national identity; just as the meteorologists here are gods. For example, if you wake up and it’s a nice day, but when you go outside you see everyone is carrying an umbrella — go back and get the biggest one you have. Even when the sun is blazing and the only precipitation visible is the perspiration of your palms. Otherwise you will be sorry.

Oh and never EVER put your laundry out on a sunny day without checking the forecast first, because that just guarantees you rain. And if you see me putting my laundry out, always bring yours in, because I never check the forecast.

And the ad? Oh right. Yes, “Happy Manners” for the underground (metro). It says something like “Please put your umbrellas away carefully.” The metro has a whole series of “Happy Manners” ads to encourage people not to annoy others while traveling. Aren’t they just so couth.

BTW, if you are into umbrella worship, please click “brolly” under “other stuff”

July 21, 2006 at 9:28 am Leave a comment

coffee burp update

Just tried Nescafe’s sparkling coffee in my lunch break and felt compelled enough to immediately post this:  It is just so WRONG.


July 19, 2006 at 5:26 am Leave a comment

wake up and burp the bubbles


One word: WHY?

Then again, Lipton brought out fizzy tea a couple of summers ago.

July 16, 2006 at 4:42 pm Leave a comment

drink it or shove it up your …


Since we are on the subject of coffee, this is double-function canned beverage. It’s no joke; this is not a bad use of English and has absolutely nothing to do with Cafe Colon at the Hilton in Equador or the Mexican 1958 movie. The ‘colon’ is of the intestines kind.

Yup, it’s a drinkable coffee that can also be used as an enema. It contains EM-X (natural antioxidant) plus deep seawater and salt. See the makers DecentWork’s web site: (it’s in interesting English) to find out how to get hold of one of those ‘colon kits.’

I haven’t plugged one to my butt, but I have tried drinking it. It’s not bad, like cold ‘American.’

July 16, 2006 at 4:35 pm Leave a comment

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